"Do not be afraid to explore the difference between 'like' and 'love.'
Between Casual and committed
or how might you understand
what attracts you
what connects you
that is more than you
without fully understanding the science or the psychology
just what it is that pulls you together
that persuades you to multiply
and sometimes divide.
The phenomenon of all human interactions..
The more you embrace the understanding
the more you will find yourself passionate about the subject.
It always amazes me, even tho I was born "before" the internet (that will shock my grandkids one day! LOL) That each time I have fallen in love, it has been based on that I like that person. I mean I like them! I enjoy talking with them, being with them, we laugh, we understand issues at the same level and we communicate to each other the important things with ease.
Now the only additional part of my admission here is that "to love" we also must have attraction. That mystery of their chemicals make my chemicals happy! (without using a drug.) I do know that I have many, many friends whom are women and we do the same thing. The women are from varied walks of life and we may never be "at the same place" in the path this life leads us, but, that same "bond" of level of understanding and common ideas or values makes our friendship and our "like" feature the strongest one I have ever known.
The road which a single individual walks down is filled with the lessons of learning about the difference between a casual relationship and a committed one. Learning what attracts us to the other person, smell, hair color, laugh and common understandings. (common sense doesn't hurt either, but, with some men, that might be asking way too much!). What connects us? What is it that you feel or that "umami," dubbed "the fifth taste." Hard to describe, it is usually defined as a ultimately satisfying taste or sensation. And isn't that what we find when we feel love. That Ultimately satisfying sensation when you are with a person?
Do we really need to know the science of "Love". Pheromones and hormones? What makes a great kiss? Or can we just enjoy the kiss and leave the feelings and emotions alone and enjoy being drawn into this amazing moment in our very short life.
What makes us want to multiply, I still don't know. I know for me it was a now or never. (and I don't regret one moment of my child's part in my life.) For others it is the emotional link to this little human or the continuation of the line of heritage or genetic pool. Some it was chance, but, created when those bonds were at their peak.
Choosing to divide or to separate from the one you love, sometimes by choice or by the others choosing, is a feeling of it is better to be outside this, rather than in this. So many do this too quickly and so many don't do this soon enough so that the healing can be done and they can return to love. But it is a choice.
The above poem references at the end that the more we embrace the "understanding" of Love, the more passionate we become about it. I think of it as the more we realize how special and rare this feeling is that is mutually exclusive between two people, the more we treasure it, safe guard it and protect it. If we do not take it for granted and work at keeping those bonds firm and solid, the depth and thrill that was once the beginning of the "passion" may not flame like it used to, but, will become a warm ember that is resistant to the toughest of weather.
“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
P.S. This T-shirt quote is from the movie, "The Princess Bride". If you have never seen this movie, it is worth viewing and shows just how a relationship can be trwwww love, and how all great guys learn to say to their partners, "As you wish". (Translation: I love you.)